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Frequently Asked Questions

Partners of Ex Boarders
Have you been...?
  • Feeling unheard
  • Feeling shut out by your partner and isolated
  • Feeling that your partner only approaches you when he/she wants something
  • Talked over when you are trying to explain how you feel
Does your partner...?
  • Appear cold to your responses, particularly requests for emotional support
  • Appear childlike when caught or challenged over doing something previously agreed in the relationship as a no-go area, for example chastising the partner in front of children
  • Deny any previous discussion took place and that you are totally at fault
  • Refuse to accept responsibility for mistakes, for example after an argument, pretends it is nothing to do with him
  • Appear unable to respond with good emotions
  • Chastise you when he/she has forgotten to do something
  • Appear to others as if he/she is a wonderful or perfect partner
  • Become the ideal host
  • Timetable his/her life
  • Treat you like his mother/father - expect you to be the parent in all situations
  • Put others needs before yours
  • Not listen to your problems, dismissing them as trivia
  • Appear to be cold hearted to you/the children
  • Appear emotionally missing or absent
  • Always have to be right and cannot apologise even if it is clear that he/she is mistaken
  • Take any small comment made by you as a personal insult directed at them with the intention of it being a personal slight
  • Show little joy in life
  • Appear to lack empathy for loved ones (but can sometimes show it for people outside the immediate group)
Does it feel as if you...?
  • Are in a loveless relationship
  • Take all the blame for any issue that arises
  • Are treated badly/coldly/indifferently over your own issues while your partners issues must always be treated as the most important
  • Are bullied or targeted when your partner is not getting his needs met
  • Have a partner who has difficulties with his relationships with you and/or your children
  • Have a partner who seems to be a workaholic and cannot relax
  • Are invisible or your partner discounts your views and opinions
  • Come out of a discussion with all the responsibility
Helena Thomas is a qualified Psychotherapist, and has been seeing Ex Boarders and their Partners in therapy for many years. She also offers therapy on a one to one basis, or for couples who are experiencing difficult relationship issues

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