Partners of Ex Boarders Facebook Group

Boarding School Survivors

Boarding School Survivors

Many Partners come into Therapy feeling that they are going insane. Although they realise there is something wrong in their relationship, they are unable to put their finger on exactly what is wrong. All they recognise is that when they first moved in or married their partner, life was different.

Often, the realisation that the dynamic in the relationship is unhealthy is when challenges arise, such as having children, changes in lifestyle, or a realisation that your partner is different with other people than they are with you. Male ex-Boarders may give their friends and colleagues requests and needs priority over yours, they may timetable their life to such a point that you realise they cannot relax or allow themselves "down time", or you have noticed that the way they treat your children is not always acceptable.

Sometimes it may feel like you are 'Staff' because your Partner has an entitled attitude towards you, or that they treat you as if you are their Mother, expecting you to be there when they are unhappy or confused, but not there for you when it is the other way around.

For many people it will really surprise them just how much boarding school can really affect individuals. Not only can boarding school affect the person concerned, in turn their future partnerships with others particularly wifes can be adversely compromised.

Whilst not entirely just a "man's problem" it is a recognised fact that boarding school syndrome will affect predominately more men than it will women. Do you as a partner recognise any of these comments on this page? If so, you're not alone, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, there is help available to you.

When I first came to see you I was doubting my sanity. You helped me to understand what had happened to my partner and why he behaved the way he did. I realise I've changed the way I react to his issues, and we no longer exist in a co-dependent relationship.
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